Stop Blaming Others. “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality." What situations are most likely to result in you running from your responsibilities? It’s so easy to blame things on other people, or on the circumstances around you. This can lead to accidentally pushing away the people you care about. Colleagues, for example, don’t want to work alongside someone who cannot take constructive feedback. Ask what you need to do to earn a promotion. Gently—don’t beat yourself up—redirect your thinking to thoughts that will support your success and happiness. Don’t Play the “Blame Game” – Kids should understand that each person has responsibilities and that they need to take responsibility for their actions. The reference of entering the world in infancy is a critical analogy to … It is you. Sure, if something pressing comes up, you can explain to the other person why you are unable to do whatever it is you said you’d do. You’ll feel good about things and more confident in what you’re doing, which can lead to better results – a win-win situation! If an individual you respect supplies feedback that you make excuses and blame others for your woes. Take responsibility for your own actions We are responsible for our actions – all of them. Spend your thought time planning your next successful venture. This positive attitude is proactive and will make you feel so much better about other aspects of your life, too. Wives, buy it as a gift your your husband. The most important aspect of taking responsibility for your life is to acknowledge that your life is your responsibility. ), consider the ways you could have helped out more or gone further. Even people who adore you will get bored of you constantly blaming others for things that are within your control. This can really help improve your relationships at work, as well as with your family, friends, and partner. Earl Nightingale’s apt summation of the power of your thoughts is one of the most significant statements ever made. Your guide for taking responsibility for your action is awesome for everyone. Passed over several times? You take responsibility for your actions, simply because you have a deep sense of pride in what you're doing. Just accept that you’re human and you’re never going to be ‘perfect’ in your own eyes. Its a liberating concept. Don’t wallow. Making excuses instead of taking one hundred percent responsibility for your actions, your thoughts, and your goals are the hallmark of people who fail to succeed both in their professional lives and personal lives. They want to work with someone who is aware of their limitations as well as their strengths and who isn’t afraid to respond to others’ opinions and change things up if needed. Said Nightingale, “The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts." Others are small. When you take responsibility for your actions you are saying “I am the one who’s in charge of my life.” Take care of your own matters. In fact, mistakes are lessons that make you a better person going forward – IF you learn from them. Avoiding accountability can make us feel frustrated and more than a little guilty. You choose the path of productivity and contribution or, you choose the path of a marginal employee. And you have choices in front of you now. Our thoughts and feelings can get very messy and overwhelming, so it becomes really hard to process what’s really going on. Choosing to take responsibility… “The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. Acknowledging your actions can also mean giving yourself the respect you deserve. Live every day as if what you do matters—because it does. But, how to get even, how to replay or recast a situation that has already occurred, or how to make excuses or blame others is not powerful, positive thinking. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to get a new process in place. Sure, that can be hard to figure out at times, but it is a process that you should try to stick with and go through as many times as is necessary for you to form concrete and realistic aims for your life. Part of this is knowing when not to make firm commitments or promises that you know you will not be able to keep. For one, it gets boring very quickly! It is not your job, your spouse or partner, the cost, or the time that holds you back from achieving your dreams. But it for your son so that he understands his place in life. But without taking responsibility, you're all the more likely to look at your career as a failure because you allowed any passing wind to blow you around, all the while blaming the wind for how things turned out. As the language suggests, it is a ‘response ability’: the ability to choose our response in … Excuse-making is a negative form of avoidance behavior. Your choices matter to you and create the life you live. This builds long-lasting trust and sets you up for prolonged leadership success. Every action you take affects organizational progress in one way or in another. Then, act like, look like, and practice the actions that successful managers exhibit in your organization in that role, Make your desire known, too, as you will never realize your goal if you keep it a secret. Listen to the voice in your mind. Do you need to rectify a mistake? By getting into better habits, you’ll form a better mindset. Stepping up and taking responsibility for what’s going on in your life is one of the most important things you will ever do – and one of the best. Of course there are things that are out of your control, but there is a lot that is within your control too. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Privacy Policy, How To Take Responsibility For Your Actions And Your Life, apologizing when you have done something wrong, Balancing Your Internal-External Locus Of Control: Finding The Sweet Spot, How To Stop Running Away From Your Problems And Face Them With Courageous Resolve, How To Stop Repeating The Same Mistakes Over And Over, How To Get Your Life Back On Track When The Wheels Have Come Off. And, they tend to play themselves over and over again in your head. Are there areas of your life where you often resort to the blame, excuses, or moaning mentioned above? Listen to yourself when … By stepping up and accepting that your actions have consequences, you can find ways to make those consequences positive. To thrive as an adult you need to take responsibility for your actions. The same will likely hold true for your people: by working on re-engaging them, you can lead … The first 3 points above – blaming others, making excuses, and bemoaning your situation – all have one thing in common: they don’t require any action. That's the day we truly grow up.” - John C. Maxwell Are you still passed over? Know that avoiding responsibility is as much a habit as it is a conscious decision. Every choice you make; every action you take—matters. The responsibility is yours, and it starts with developing a belief or habit of mind that you, as an individual, are accountable for the quality and timeliness of an outcome, even when youre working with others. Identifying bad choices you have made is not an easy thing to do. You need to externally own the consequences for the things you do and don’t do. If you can identify the situations in which refuse to be held accountable for your actions, you can find ways to think differently about them. 4. Intimate relationships work the same way – equality is important in every relationship, so accepting responsibility is crucial to maintaining these bonds. This is especially true as that negative voice in your head will run endless tapes of dissatisfaction and rehearse negative, unsatisfying outcomes over and over and over again—ad nauseum. You need to internally take ownership of your … Everyone must take responsibility for their own actions, you must try to make it right, especially if you hurt someone by taking no responsibility. No one wants to admit that there was a better option that they did not take. The main reason is … It’s important to remember that each small shirk of responsibility builds up and can cause problems later along the line. Interrupt that incessant tape that is playing in your mind and stop rehearsing that excuse-filled conversation. Life is full of choices. She has covered HR for The Balance Careers since 2000. Every failure has a scapegoat that they can use to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions—failure is never the result of the choices they made. You might accidentally blame something on a loved one because you’re so used to pushing away responsibility. That means you can’t cancel dinner plans because you had a crumby day at work. While it is important that you own up to these mistakes, it is equally as important to forgive yourself for them. Think about it. Perhaps there are certain people with whom you cannot accept any blame because doing so makes you feel inferior or incompetent. When you spend your thinking time on success and goal accomplishment, instead of on making excuses, you free up the emotional space formerly inhabited by negativity. ...Personal Responsibility Julie Torbert Gen 200 August 13, 2012 Ben McCollum Personal Responsibility Personal responsibility includes taking accountability for one’s actions, responsibilities, and goals that will improve performance and relationships in one’s life.Personal responsibility means that one is responsible for his or her actions … Above all else, listen to that little voice in your head. You can choose a path that can help rectify a bad situation, or you can choose a path that involves burying your head in the sand and denying responsibility. The world should not come to a standstill so easily. Constructive feedback from others can feel like a slap in the face, however well-intentioned it may be. As you know from Part 1, there are two kinds of responsibility: personal and indirect responsibility. In order to create a happy, healthy and successful life, you need to take responsibility. And to avoid having to make excuses in the first place, think of ways that you can build contingency into your plans. To own your actions is a necessary skill of any successful person. However, accepting responsibility for your choices can also be very empowering. Taking … No matter how hard you try to blame others for the events of your life, each event is the result of choices you made and are making. The good news is that it also means celebrating yourself when you do something great. Let’s discuss the first one, accepting personal responsibility – which is taking ownership of your own behavior and the consequences of that behavior. But these times should be few and far between and the reasons for them must be genuine and important. You'll Get More Feedback if You Receive It With Grace and Dignity, Follow These 6 Steps to Accomplishing Your Life Goals and Resolutions. Sometimes, we don’t even realize that we’re not taking responsibility for our actions because we’re not fully aware of what’s happening. Are You a Manager that Employees Want to Follow? And, observe yourself talking with coworkers, family members, and friends. For one, it gets boring very quickly! Moments when we can take one path or another. By seeing things you’ve observed about yourself, you’ll feel more comfortable accepting feedback and will learn to own your behavior. By accepting responsibility for the things you can control, you’ll feel more positive about your life in general. However, I’ve found that most women don’t have as much trouble taking responsibility for their actions; while men do just about anything to avoid taking responsibility. One never fails or commits mistakes if they do nothing. Maybe you’re late to meet a friend for dinner. Sure, your life may suck in some ways, but if all you ever do is talk about how much it sucks, nothing much is going to change. You are in charge. In order to be a success in college, you have to apply your life learned lessons to … What can you do to avoid inconveniencing others? While reading it give me motivation and the responsibility for my own work. I enjoy all and implement in my life to get better results. When you fail to responsibly guide your direction and outcomes, you set the stage for creating a miserable life—a life that fulfills none of your dreams and aspirations. … Look for a new job to continue to pursue your dream. Taking action is pivotal in embracing your responsibilities to life. If you can genuinely say that your contributions were faultless, well done. After over a year of traveling, she’s settled in paradise and spends her days wandering around barefoot, practicing yoga and exploring new ways to work on her wellbeing. Again, not everything is within your control, but where you do have control, you must be willing to take it. By being responsible, you’re showing that you have respect for yourself and others. Every problem can be explained away with reasons why they can’t affect the situation or the outcome, especially at work where it is easy to find excuses because people are so closely intertwined—and every project has a chain of internal customers who are dependant on others in the chain. No one can live your life for you. Quotes about Taking Responsibility for Your Actions “The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. This sounds familiar, it ’ s time to get in trouble, particularly Kids you will bored. Who take complete responsibility for your son so that they know you better actions consequences! Breaking the habit begins with identifying and accepting it as permanent and insurmountable job! College, you can ’ t do your success and happiness better person forward... Are out of your goals for prolonged leadership success what went wrong or on! 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